Shoot 8

I believe this will be the final shoot for this project. The deadline is close and I feel that over the progression of these shoots, I have enough content for me to edit from to create my final piece. I've tried to keep every shoot (apart from shoot 2 as an experiment) visually similar but also different. It's these differences that has pushed me to evolve the imagery and the meaning, and so from shoot 1 to shoot 8 we see more of that raw emotion bloom from the images as I learnt what I wanted from my photography.
This shoot is similar to shoot 7, but different. In shoot 7 I was in my underwear in the woods, which represented raw emotion and vulnerability to the world. For this shoot, I wanted to take this a step further and so all clothes were removed.
At first I kept on my cardigan while I became more comfortable being nude in this environment, and then I gradually took it off.
The images here have been slightly edited in terms of colour temperature, and in some the clarity has been reduced to create a smooth, more ethereal and less distinguished body.

The following image will all show nudity:

For me, this image is too stark. I like a bit of mystery in my images and this just doesn't project that in a strong enough way for me. The body seems just too upfront and confrontational, which isn't the aim of this shoot. Therefore, I don't see myself using this.

This image has a bit more mystery and ambiguity to it. The face is blurred, removing identity. the cardigan is clear however I don't think it devalues the image in terms of how it projects itself to the viewer. The body looks limp, with the arms by the side and standing face on to the camera. The head, however, contrasts to the static position of the rest of the image, as it appears to twist. This represents the feeling of a twisted mind that can't stay in one stable place.
The breasts an genital area have an outline to them but there are no detailed areas which makes me feel more comfortable about sharing this imagery while also keeping that rawness.

This image is much more like what I am aiming for. In this image you can see the influence of Francesca Woodman in terms of the blurred and unknown identity. I really like the way that you can tell that this is a body but it's so distorted that it doesn't look right, which reminds me of the work by Jeff Enlow and how he used multiple exposures to change bodies and how they appear, making something so familiar into something strange.

Again in this image you can't see my face, and with the body blurred my identity is erased and I am turned into something else. I see this 'something' as the darkness that causes my anxiety and possible depression. 

I appreciate the way the body seems to be walking out of frame as it adds motion and makes for a more dynamic piece. It then poses the questions of where she is going, where she is, and why she's walking in the woods naked.

Her posture seems confident, perhaps adding a sense of narcissism as a self portrait.

I much prefer the lighting in this image to those above. It was created by having a phone torch shined on me during the long exposure, which highlights certain parts of the body. In this case, the breasts and rib cage seem to be the most highlighted parts. Her face is blurred and bent backwards and her arms and shoulders are back. This pose can be read in multiple ways; it could read as confident due to the way I, as this character, is making the body including parts seen as more intimate very prominent and obvious rather than hiding, which is evident in some of the other images. It could also be read as having a lack of care, giving up almost. This is mostly suggested by the head and the arms which seem to be swinging back, with a lack of life and care and energy being portrayed through this. 

The way that this can be interpreted in these different ways makes this image stronger, because the more confident self represents the 'beast' version of myself and the self that's given up and feels a lack of energy is every day me.

This image is a huge contrast to that above. One big difference is the colour toning. This is much more warm and yellow toned, which I edited in because it gives a more ethereal and fantasy feel, which seems to separate the image from real life. I felt this was more appropriate visually and conceptually, because i'm exploring my own mental illness by somewhat personifying it, making it out as a monster or a beast, it's something that's not physically real but mentally is. The yellow also stands out against the black far better.

The subject in the image is another large difference. In this one you can see the cardigan, and she's wrapped up in it and hides her body. She seems protective of herself, her shoulders are raised to her neck, her head seem to be resting on the shoulders. This is a pose of discomfort and loneliness, reflecting that anxiety makes me feel. This image is more literal than the image above.

This image is similar to the one above, but with a slightly different pose. This image seems more in a struggle and perhaps delirious than the other image. She leans over with the cardigan over her again and she hugs herself as if she's in pain. I personally don't think this image will be used in my final presentation because I don't think it reflects my mental state well enough.

I  edited this image in two ways. The first is much more clarified with obvious and clear lines and body parts, and the second is the same but the clarity has been decreased and the face has been blurred out. At first I only had the first version, which I really like. I like the confidence it projects, the clarity of the bone structure and the starkness of it, however while I prefer this edit visually I don't think it reflects what I am looking for in this project. There's no sense of masquerade, sense of loss of identity, loneliness, or even the suggestion of something dark within. This is why I created the second edit. This version has a blurred face and has decreased clarity. This then projects the feeling of lack of identity and the feeling of a fuzzy mind. She still seems confident but this confidence seems more constructed and falsified to to the blurred nature of the image.

The bodily features and shape are still prominent. This also has a slightly narcissistic feeling to it due to the confidence, the body parts being prominent and the way it's a self portrait. 

This image feels much more 'real' and raw. it's not glorified in any way, she hugs herself in a protective manner and also perhaps in pain judging by the way she's bent over herself. Perhaps mental pain or trauma.  The face is not pretty, it's not glamified, but it's lumpy and bumpy and not smooth. The discomfort in this image reflects my own discomfort in my self, my life and my mind.

This image seems more like an observation of the human body rather than a representation of my anxiety. I don't really see of it represents what's going through my head and I don't feel a connection to this image and therefore will not be using it.

This I prefer much more. It demonstrates discomfort through the weird and unnatural pose, and the way the face is blurred with movement shows the haziness of the mind, the loss of identity and change that I experience. The way the arm hangs by the side shows a lack of energy and the lack of care that I feel. The nakedness makes these feelings appear even more raw and natural yet the way the body is formed by the long exposure contradicts this, creating a contrast.

I think this image is one that represents my mental state most out of this shoot. Firstly, the way that you can visibly see the woods in the background shows isolation and a sense of loneliness, especially in it's cool blue tones. the body is bent over and gripping on to herself, the pain and discomfort is more than obvious by the pose. There are lumps and bumps visible, showing a more true and raw self that doesn't glorify or glamify me in this moment. 

I think that this image and the one above would work well together.

The slow shutter speed creates a feeling of movement and displacement within herself and within time. 

The face, like in many other of the photos is blurred and obscured which as previously discussed removes a sense of identity and further highlights that displacement of time and identity, for it could be anybody in this position at any time. This allows for others to be more able to put themselves in the shoes of the subject.

I also edited this in two ways, one that's been clarified and one that's had the clarified decreased to the maximum amount. 

While I like both, I think the haziness of the second edit reflects my mind more, however if I use this image which one i'll use will depend on what else I pick.

I really like this image because of the way she, the subject, completely ignores the presence of the camera. Even without acknowledging the lens, she appears self conscious and hugs herself while looking out away from the camera, and therefore the audience. So while the face isn't visible we can still see her discomfort with an audience through the use of body language. The face looking away from us feels like we shouldn't be looking at her however. In some other image where the face is obscured, if feels as if it's permission to look, however I think because of the stability in this image in terms of movement and therefore time, we feel more so that it's rude to look while she doesn't look back at us, but at the same time it gives us an opportunity to.

I chose to do two edits of this too, because I'm not sure what stile i'm leaning towards.

This image is one of my favourites from this whole series. It is very simple, with little movement and curves to suggest a female body, instead I am just 'human' in this image. What makes this image so powerful, in my opinion, is the way the hands reach over her back and grips it. It shows pain, discomfort, and a place of not knowing what to do and retreating within yourself. The way the back is turned eliminates identity, allowing for a viewer to place themselves within the image to some extent. 

The way the edges are softened on this image almost looks as if the darkness is swallowing the subject, which makes me lean towards the softer look on my other images.

This image projects isolation, loneliness and darkness in the extremes, and I feel that this is an accurate representation of myself in those bad times i'm trying to project.

This image is the final one from this shoot. I find this one interested because the more you look at it the more wrong it looks. It starts to not look like a body anymore, but an odd sculpture. This dehumanisation reflects how I don't feel 'right' a lot of the time, like something is so wrong with me. 

This image shows lack of energy and the feeling of defeat though the limp body.

I also did two polaroid/instax images, one of which failed and has left me just with the following;

Overall, I'm really happy with how this shoot came out. It's my personal favourite from the whole project and I  am sure I will use these in my final presentation for this project.